no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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