Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
