He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
