I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
