Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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