He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
