you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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