i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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