Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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