i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
