I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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