The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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