Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
