Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
love makes seman taste better
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
