And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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