I heard we made out
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
