I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize