On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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