playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
