Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
