I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize