on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Randomize