I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
