If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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