Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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