Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
