At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
