Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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