Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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