you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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