I'm gonna have a badass scar
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
