real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
