I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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