Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize