You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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