Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
