my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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