he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize