fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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