its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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