I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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