Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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