I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
