"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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