so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
