i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
