Moan for me like Helen Keller
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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