did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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