We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
