Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
