her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize