the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
