can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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