Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize