She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize