We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
