with your own penis?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Shitshow foam night was such a success
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Randomize
