Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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