I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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